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April 14, 2014

Cesarean Awareness Month Day 14

We all know that sex is an amazing thing.

It can be beautiful and powerful, exciting and enjoyable. We also know it can be something to do to make a partner feel satisfied or to fulfill a need even when we know that really isn’t where we are *at right at the moment.

We also know that sex can be a nightmare. An act of power and coercion. Used against us to further another person’s goals, whatever they may be. When a person we know and trust uses us in that way, we are left wondering how we wound up here. Date rape, coercion, force. How did we wind up here and why did it happen this way. We are left, not broken, but fractured and trying to put the pieces together.

Birth is an amazing thing. It uplifts. We give, we strive, we are overwhelmed in the moment, we feel powerful, excited, and finally, overjoyed. Sometimes, we know certain things have to happen in order to bring our babies here safely and we know that need and weigh it against our own and make the choices that we need to make, for the good of that one we love. We even know that respectful care can happen under these circumstances.
We also know that birth can be a nightmare, out of control, a trauma, with others forcing us to unneeded procedures, telling us we are killing our babies if we continue, or that we will harm them, that we are stupid for trying homebirth, that we are broken and unable to give birth, that our babies being born through our bodies will result in brain damage and death. When a person we trusted uses their power in that way, telling us an induction is our only choice, that we can’t VBA2C, selling us a cesarean that will be “gentle” rather than giving us relationship, trust and good care, when we are forced to accept a coerced cesarean, it twists us inside. We wonder how we wound up here when we were desiring of a normal birth, we are fractured into the mother who wants to celebrate her love and look into her little ones eyes and the mother in pain who only wonders why she wasn’t stronger, more capable, why her doctor or midwife were so incapable of giving good care without the unnecessary procedures.
We are not broken but fractured and trying to put the pieces together.
This isn’t all cesareans and not all providers but with a virtually 40% cesarean rate, we need to stop buying acceptance and giving in because our providers have the capability to use power over us. We would never tell our daughters to accept date rape, we should stop giving them the example of birth rape. No means no, not convince me by making it nicer.
‪#‎cesareanawarenessmonth‬ Day 14

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